10 Things I've learned so far.

1. Cleaning up after your dog is unneccessary.
1a. If it's a big dog, don't even bother. Just leave it on the sidewalk. It's cool.

2. Restaurants staying open during lunchtime is super dumb. Cool restaurants are open til maybe 1 and don't reopen til 6 or 7.

3. When stopping for pedestrians, you must speed up, stop a foot from the crosswalk, then glare at them as they scurry by in fear for their lives.

4. Even though you walk on the right side of the sidewalk, you must go out of your way to pass someone on the left.

5. Walking on sidewalks is optional; cool kids walk in the middle of the street.

6. Wearing a black jacket during cold weather is obligatory.
6a. Wearing all black gets you extra points.

7. It is imperative that you make absolutely no effort to get out of someone's way, even if you're standing in the middle of the sidewalk with your posse.

8. Cheese smells funny.

9. Getting coffee to go is a sin and impossible. Instead, you must pay 2+ euro at a café for a tiny cup with a few tablespoons of coffee in it. And four sugar cubes.

10. When leaving a store, the only acceptable thing to say is "merciau'voir," bonus points if it's in a singsong voice. Acting like "merci" and "au revoir" are separate words is dumb